Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged. I was writing and editing my first full-length book, and it's finally complete and published. You can purchase it or read the introduction on my website: http://www.apracticalpsychic.com/book.htm
That took a lot of time and energy, but now that it's done I'm still feeling compelled to write! The spirit people are throwing information at me for my next book on spirit messages already, yet I'm committed to not dropping my blog again. I can do both, right?
I've been spending a lot of time in recent weeks with the Blessed Mother. She started showing up in my meditations, in headlines, on the books that seem to fall off the shelves. I mean to say that I keep thinking about her, and I keep noticing references to her. Most religious traditions have a female energy that balances out the male energy, so if you're not a Christian, just bear with me and every time I mention "Mary" or "The Blessed Mother," just put in Shakti, Lilith, Sacred Feminine, Earth Mother, Buk, or whatever else my represent the divine feminine.
Specifically for me, this is the Blessed Mother. Something has been nagging at me to read about the Marian culture, to seek out paintings, to delve into stories of the various Mary sightings around the world -- Fatima, Lourdes, Medjugorja. As you might have guessed, when I get this kind of persistent nagging, I give in to it. I even started exploring the Rosary, which, despite being raised a Catholic, I had no idea how to recite.
So now, for some reason and for what outcome I'm still at a loss to say, I am saying the Rosary every day. Probably not as it traditionally recited, but I'm still using my training wheels on this one. What I've noticed first of all is that the repetition of a prayer really puts me into a pleasant alpha state of mind. I don't always concentrate on the prayer itself -- I'm so familiar with the Our Father and the Hail Mary that I can recite them without thinking. So I have to bring my conscious mind to the act of reciting it. When I do I am lulled into a beautiful meditate state, and I'm filled with such peace and serenity when I'm done.
I don't know where this is going, as I've said. But it's helping my mental state, my appointment book is more full than it has ever been, I'm giving increasingly accurate spirit communications, and I feel more courage. I need more courage. I'm going to continue to pursue this particular thread to see where it leads me, and I'll keep you all posted.
I'm committed to blogging every Friday -- don't let me off the hook!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday's Sermon at Albertson Memorial Spiritualist Church
Here we are at the beginning of spring, and I just feel so hopeful!
I don’t know about you, but I have 3 beginnings in every year: January 1 (for obvious reasons), the start of spring (because I can’t wait to get outside and start some projects after a long winter), and right after Labor Day (the traditional beginning of the school year).
That makes 3 opportunities to begin again, or to start something new.
In the Christian calendar we’ve recently begun the season of Lent, which as you may know is a season of sacrificing. As a kid I’d give up dessert or some other fun thing, which I hated doing. Lent is followed by remembering Christ’s death on the cross and the joy of his resurrection three days later.
Whether or not you actually believe Christ rose from the dead, the idea of resurrection and renewal is an extremely important concept that is inherent in being human, because it’s the idea of HOPE. In the New Testament, in 1 Peter 1:3, Peter calls renewal and hope the same thing -- they’re interchangeable -- when he says “Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”
It’s not just the Christian texts that hope and renewal go hand in hand. In the Qu’ran it’s written "And never give up hope of Allah's soothing Mercy: Truly no one despairs of Allah's soothing Mercy except those who have no faith." (12:87). The Bhagavad-Gita, the Old Testament, The Tibetan Book of the Dead, texts of the Baha’i faith -- all refer to the hope that comes along with rebirth or renewal.
When I was a little girl, my parents had a book of Greek myths, and included in these was the story of Pandora.
Pandora was, according to the story I read (though there are many versions of the ending), the first woman on Earth and she was created as a punishment to mankind; Zeus wanted to punish people because Prometheus stole the fire to give it to them. Pandora was created by the gods; each one of whom gave her a gift (beauty, curiosity, stubborness, crafts).
She was also was given a box or a jar containing special gifts, which the gods told her never to open. Hermes took her to marry Epimetheus, brother of Prometheus. Prometheus had advised his brother not to accept anything from the gods, but he saw Pandora and was astonished by her beauty, and he accepted her right away.
Pandora was trying to tame her curiosity, but at the end she could not help herself anymore; she opened the box and instead of gifts, all the illnesses and hardships that gods had hidden in the box started coming out. Pandora was scared, because she saw all the evil coming out and tried to close the box as fast as possible. The last thing to fly out was Hope.
The purpose of the myth was to explain why there was suffering and misery in the world, and many contemporary religions brought this myth into their own teachings. In the Christian resurrection story, Jesus offers himself as a sacrifice on the cross so that we won’t have to succumb to these evils ever again. He’s the last thing out of the box, in the Christian story -- He is the hope of Christian people.
Hope exists on a really huge continuum. We use the word “hope” so lightly sometimes. I just used it the other day when a friend told me about someone getting married for the 3rd or 4th time, and I said, “Hope springs eternal!”
We hope the Yankees win. We hope the weather’s nice this weekend. We hope that nice person asks us out on a date.
And on the spectrum of Hope, we can use the word somewhere in the middle:
We hope our friend gets that job. We hope we can quit smoking.
And we can call on Hope with the full weight of the word: We hope cancer will go into remission. We hope the war overseas stops and our loved ones come home in one piece. We hope Japan will benefit from our prayers for courage.
Hope allows us to carry on. Hope is more than just a stepping stone, it’s like bannister we can hang on to as we navigate through life. Faith gives us the power to keep going, to take another step, and hope gives us something to hang on to while we’re doing it.
Every single renewal or beginning, has right alongside it Hope. Every morning we wake up with it. Every new relationship, new job, new start, new spring, new year. Today I ask you to use Hope freely, for everything you do. It’s out here in the world to counteract every bad mood or challenging event. It belongs to you! You can never have too much of it!
No one can take it away from you unless you allow them to. Think for a moment about anything you might have given up on. Did someone or something rob you of hope for carrying on?
In the myth of Pandora’s box, the gods of the day released untold evil on the world, and all that was needed to counteract it, was Hope. On the one hand, they sent war, famine, disease, crime, hatred, poverty, pain and on the other hand, hope. Hope, only hope, to balance out all of that negativity. Doesn’t that tell us something about the power of hope?
We know that even on the other side of the physical transition of death, life continues. WE know, as spiritualists, that life is eternal. Jesus died for us so we don’t have to, so that we can hope for eternal life, that’s the beauty of the resurrection story. Buddha continued to reincarnate long after he reached perfect compassion, as do the many bodhisattvas, so we too can hope for nirvana; that’s the beauty of the reincarnation story.
Hope goes hand in hand with January 1st, springtime, the beginning of the school year, and every single second of every day. It is constantly renewing itself in us. Sometimes it’s hope alone that gives us the power to start something new, or to try once again to conquer something we know we need to change.
Some wise person once suggested I make a list of the top three values of my life, and then to make every major decision based on whether the outcome would fit into the framework of that value system. It was hard to settle on just three, and I revised my list several times, but in the end Hope was among them. And having the quality of being Hopeful among my values, it actually led me to make some changes: to reshape a friendship that was structured mainly around complaining about the government, to stop watching terrible news stories, to include specific requests in my prayers, and as a result I enjoy so much more serenity and genuine optimism than I ever thought possible. The quality of being Hopeful, begat more Hope.
And when I get down to the nuts and bolts of what I do in my work, the thread that ties everything together is hope. When people come to me to hear from their loved ones in spirit, they’re asking for hope. When they come for healing or hypnosis, they’re coming for hope. I’m in the Hope business.
I bet when you look at the basic building blocks of what you do, it’s creating Hope also. Whether you’re a CEO or a babysitter, you’re manufacturing or sustaining Hope.
So what am I asking you to consider then, if we’re all already in the business of Hope -- if Hope is our birthright and our constant companion? I like to call it “taking inspired action.”
First we start with Faith, that life means something; then we have Hope to hang onto as time passes. Now we can stop here, and many people do; they may be prayerful and pleasant and good people, but I bet they feel sort of unfulfilled. This may be the kind of person who shrugs and says “it’s God’s will” when they lose a job or a home or a marriage; then they wait around, with Faith and Hope that all will work out in the end. Not a bad plan, but one that is missing an essential ingredient.
With faith that life has meaning, and hope that comes in with every new day, we can use our free will to take inspired action. I think that’s what’s meant by the old saying “God helps those who help themselves.” I believe that -- having been a student of the gnostic tradition -- that God is available, personally, to all of us at all times, and is always trying to remind us that we can tap into Him for direction. I believe God speaks to us through our own ideas, inspiration and experiences. So when we follow one of those ideas we’re taking inspired action.
Now, there’s a difference between reacting to something as we habitually do, and taking inspired action. Let me illustrate what I mean with this: I’ve recently -- and hopefully -- been inspired to begin a personal campaign to once and for all shut down those old tapes that are playing in my head, and to listen to God’s direction and opinion of me only. No more old tape playing Mother’s voice insinuating that I’ll never amount to anything. In this personal campaign I’ve decided whenever I get defensive, I will honestly look at what old belief I am so fiercely defending.
The last time I was here at Albertson Memorial Spiritualist Church, I was speaking about returning to school, and an old friend who suggested I might be taking on another project so I didn’t really have to find out whether or not I would succeed or fail if I put 100% into being the best psychic medium I could be. Boy was I furious! You would have thought the Huns were attacking, that’s how defensive I got.
That’s my flag now, that’s that little Inspired Action guy waving a flag at me saying “X marks the spot! Dig right here!”
So I did, and I learned something about myself and I was able to turn down the volume a little bit on the old voice that said “your value is solely related to the degrees you acquire and the things you accomplish.”
The old me -- the defensive me -- was reacting; the new me is taking inspired action. It doesn’t work 100% of the time of course -- but I’m hopeful. And this Spring I hope to get closer to God, because I was inspired to take this kind of action. I hope to hear God’s voice and direction more clearly than those other imbedded voices. And I’m the one who needs to stop reacting to them, and to take action to clear them out. Hope makes this whole process so much easier.
So I’d like to leave you with a couple thoughts: What can you resurrect or renew or begin now? Hope is just right here, waiting to step in and add some fuel to your dreams and goals. How can you take inspired action in that renewal?
Secondly, If you know someone who seems without hope, go visit them, send them a card or flowers. You don’t need to solve their problems or fix their issues, just remind them about hope. Hope is self-perpetuating. Plant a little seed, step back and watch out. It’s practically unstoppable.
Make it a point to leave everyone you encounter feeling more hopeful than before they ran into you; you know you’ll be impacting the world in a way that truly balances all the negatives out there when you keep hope alive.
I don’t know about you, but I have 3 beginnings in every year: January 1 (for obvious reasons), the start of spring (because I can’t wait to get outside and start some projects after a long winter), and right after Labor Day (the traditional beginning of the school year).
That makes 3 opportunities to begin again, or to start something new.
In the Christian calendar we’ve recently begun the season of Lent, which as you may know is a season of sacrificing. As a kid I’d give up dessert or some other fun thing, which I hated doing. Lent is followed by remembering Christ’s death on the cross and the joy of his resurrection three days later.
Whether or not you actually believe Christ rose from the dead, the idea of resurrection and renewal is an extremely important concept that is inherent in being human, because it’s the idea of HOPE. In the New Testament, in 1 Peter 1:3, Peter calls renewal and hope the same thing -- they’re interchangeable -- when he says “Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”
It’s not just the Christian texts that hope and renewal go hand in hand. In the Qu’ran it’s written "And never give up hope of Allah's soothing Mercy: Truly no one despairs of Allah's soothing Mercy except those who have no faith." (12:87). The Bhagavad-Gita, the Old Testament, The Tibetan Book of the Dead, texts of the Baha’i faith -- all refer to the hope that comes along with rebirth or renewal.
When I was a little girl, my parents had a book of Greek myths, and included in these was the story of Pandora.
Pandora was, according to the story I read (though there are many versions of the ending), the first woman on Earth and she was created as a punishment to mankind; Zeus wanted to punish people because Prometheus stole the fire to give it to them. Pandora was created by the gods; each one of whom gave her a gift (beauty, curiosity, stubborness, crafts).
She was also was given a box or a jar containing special gifts, which the gods told her never to open. Hermes took her to marry Epimetheus, brother of Prometheus. Prometheus had advised his brother not to accept anything from the gods, but he saw Pandora and was astonished by her beauty, and he accepted her right away.
Pandora was trying to tame her curiosity, but at the end she could not help herself anymore; she opened the box and instead of gifts, all the illnesses and hardships that gods had hidden in the box started coming out. Pandora was scared, because she saw all the evil coming out and tried to close the box as fast as possible. The last thing to fly out was Hope.
The purpose of the myth was to explain why there was suffering and misery in the world, and many contemporary religions brought this myth into their own teachings. In the Christian resurrection story, Jesus offers himself as a sacrifice on the cross so that we won’t have to succumb to these evils ever again. He’s the last thing out of the box, in the Christian story -- He is the hope of Christian people.
Hope exists on a really huge continuum. We use the word “hope” so lightly sometimes. I just used it the other day when a friend told me about someone getting married for the 3rd or 4th time, and I said, “Hope springs eternal!”
We hope the Yankees win. We hope the weather’s nice this weekend. We hope that nice person asks us out on a date.
And on the spectrum of Hope, we can use the word somewhere in the middle:
We hope our friend gets that job. We hope we can quit smoking.
And we can call on Hope with the full weight of the word: We hope cancer will go into remission. We hope the war overseas stops and our loved ones come home in one piece. We hope Japan will benefit from our prayers for courage.
Hope allows us to carry on. Hope is more than just a stepping stone, it’s like bannister we can hang on to as we navigate through life. Faith gives us the power to keep going, to take another step, and hope gives us something to hang on to while we’re doing it.
Every single renewal or beginning, has right alongside it Hope. Every morning we wake up with it. Every new relationship, new job, new start, new spring, new year. Today I ask you to use Hope freely, for everything you do. It’s out here in the world to counteract every bad mood or challenging event. It belongs to you! You can never have too much of it!
No one can take it away from you unless you allow them to. Think for a moment about anything you might have given up on. Did someone or something rob you of hope for carrying on?
In the myth of Pandora’s box, the gods of the day released untold evil on the world, and all that was needed to counteract it, was Hope. On the one hand, they sent war, famine, disease, crime, hatred, poverty, pain and on the other hand, hope. Hope, only hope, to balance out all of that negativity. Doesn’t that tell us something about the power of hope?
We know that even on the other side of the physical transition of death, life continues. WE know, as spiritualists, that life is eternal. Jesus died for us so we don’t have to, so that we can hope for eternal life, that’s the beauty of the resurrection story. Buddha continued to reincarnate long after he reached perfect compassion, as do the many bodhisattvas, so we too can hope for nirvana; that’s the beauty of the reincarnation story.
Hope goes hand in hand with January 1st, springtime, the beginning of the school year, and every single second of every day. It is constantly renewing itself in us. Sometimes it’s hope alone that gives us the power to start something new, or to try once again to conquer something we know we need to change.
Some wise person once suggested I make a list of the top three values of my life, and then to make every major decision based on whether the outcome would fit into the framework of that value system. It was hard to settle on just three, and I revised my list several times, but in the end Hope was among them. And having the quality of being Hopeful among my values, it actually led me to make some changes: to reshape a friendship that was structured mainly around complaining about the government, to stop watching terrible news stories, to include specific requests in my prayers, and as a result I enjoy so much more serenity and genuine optimism than I ever thought possible. The quality of being Hopeful, begat more Hope.
And when I get down to the nuts and bolts of what I do in my work, the thread that ties everything together is hope. When people come to me to hear from their loved ones in spirit, they’re asking for hope. When they come for healing or hypnosis, they’re coming for hope. I’m in the Hope business.
I bet when you look at the basic building blocks of what you do, it’s creating Hope also. Whether you’re a CEO or a babysitter, you’re manufacturing or sustaining Hope.
So what am I asking you to consider then, if we’re all already in the business of Hope -- if Hope is our birthright and our constant companion? I like to call it “taking inspired action.”
First we start with Faith, that life means something; then we have Hope to hang onto as time passes. Now we can stop here, and many people do; they may be prayerful and pleasant and good people, but I bet they feel sort of unfulfilled. This may be the kind of person who shrugs and says “it’s God’s will” when they lose a job or a home or a marriage; then they wait around, with Faith and Hope that all will work out in the end. Not a bad plan, but one that is missing an essential ingredient.
With faith that life has meaning, and hope that comes in with every new day, we can use our free will to take inspired action. I think that’s what’s meant by the old saying “God helps those who help themselves.” I believe that -- having been a student of the gnostic tradition -- that God is available, personally, to all of us at all times, and is always trying to remind us that we can tap into Him for direction. I believe God speaks to us through our own ideas, inspiration and experiences. So when we follow one of those ideas we’re taking inspired action.
Now, there’s a difference between reacting to something as we habitually do, and taking inspired action. Let me illustrate what I mean with this: I’ve recently -- and hopefully -- been inspired to begin a personal campaign to once and for all shut down those old tapes that are playing in my head, and to listen to God’s direction and opinion of me only. No more old tape playing Mother’s voice insinuating that I’ll never amount to anything. In this personal campaign I’ve decided whenever I get defensive, I will honestly look at what old belief I am so fiercely defending.
The last time I was here at Albertson Memorial Spiritualist Church, I was speaking about returning to school, and an old friend who suggested I might be taking on another project so I didn’t really have to find out whether or not I would succeed or fail if I put 100% into being the best psychic medium I could be. Boy was I furious! You would have thought the Huns were attacking, that’s how defensive I got.
That’s my flag now, that’s that little Inspired Action guy waving a flag at me saying “X marks the spot! Dig right here!”
So I did, and I learned something about myself and I was able to turn down the volume a little bit on the old voice that said “your value is solely related to the degrees you acquire and the things you accomplish.”
The old me -- the defensive me -- was reacting; the new me is taking inspired action. It doesn’t work 100% of the time of course -- but I’m hopeful. And this Spring I hope to get closer to God, because I was inspired to take this kind of action. I hope to hear God’s voice and direction more clearly than those other imbedded voices. And I’m the one who needs to stop reacting to them, and to take action to clear them out. Hope makes this whole process so much easier.
So I’d like to leave you with a couple thoughts: What can you resurrect or renew or begin now? Hope is just right here, waiting to step in and add some fuel to your dreams and goals. How can you take inspired action in that renewal?
Secondly, If you know someone who seems without hope, go visit them, send them a card or flowers. You don’t need to solve their problems or fix their issues, just remind them about hope. Hope is self-perpetuating. Plant a little seed, step back and watch out. It’s practically unstoppable.
Make it a point to leave everyone you encounter feeling more hopeful than before they ran into you; you know you’ll be impacting the world in a way that truly balances all the negatives out there when you keep hope alive.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Christians Don't Want Me (As I Am)
I wish you could hear my deep sigh of disappointment. It keeps coming out of me over and over.
Over the past several months I've been talking here about this yearning I feel to involve God more publicly in the work I do; to serve God through healing or therapy or ministry or by whatever pathway He sees fit. To that end, I've been investigating attending a seminary or furthering my education -- and I settled (almost) on attending Alliance Graduate School of Counseling. By studying there I would receive a degree in Christian Mental Health Counseling, which would lead to licensure in NY (and 40 other states). So I could be a "therapist," I could take insurance, my shingle would select for those people who already involve God in their healing -- or are open to it -- and we'd all meet with more success.
Except my application requires a Pastoral Reference, which means I have to have been attending a Christian church for over a year, and have a relationship with my pastor who would of course know me well enough to answer the very specific questions on the form. Which I have not been doing. For about one month I have been attending a local Episcopal church on the recommendation of a client, and I've enjoyed it very much. The pastor is a woman, which is almost an automatic check in the "Pro" column, and she's well-spoken and friendly and so far her sermons have made some of the Old Testament Epiphany passages relevant -- even the one that says if a divorced woman remarries she is committing adultery. But I've only been to services three times!
I called the Admissions director at AGSC with this kind of important bit of information and while she recovered pretty quickly, the initial silence on the other end of the line was deafening. How on earth could I hope to go to a Christian graduate school if I wasn't a practicing Christian? (Another topic for another time: isn't the point of going to school to learn or begin something new? Isn't school supposed to be for those who don't know, not those who already do?)
She came up with a not-too-complicated plan: I'd meet with my new pastor, tell her of my intention to go to school in the fall and ask her if she'd be willing to complete one reference form now, and then once again in September before school began and we'd presumably have gotten to know each other better. I emailed the pastor (let's call her Mother Beth) gave her a bit of my history (including what I do for a living), told her about the Pastoral Reference form and asked if I could meet her for lunch or coffee.
We met yesterday and it was all I could do to keep from crying. Not because of her: she's a lovely, articulate, non-judgmental person. I gave her a brief outline of my spiritual history, which includes being raised in the Catholic church and practicing as a Catholic until my husband wanted a divorce and my parish priest told me I was no longer welcome in the church and wouldn't be able to receive communion (maybe now you can understand my hypersensitivity to the Old Testament divorce/adultery passage). Followed by 15 years of searching for a spiritual community that didn't require that I apply to the people in that community for the privilege of celebrating God's love with them. I think I tried it all, everything from Orthodox to New Age -- but always wanting to come home to the the Holy Trinity.
So here's the part in the story I'm telling her where I always duck, because it's here where I always get rejected:
Mother Beth: "Tell me about what you do for a living."
Me (deep breath, tiny voice, looking at the floor): "I'm a psychic medium."
...lots of discussion about how I do what I do and how it feels for me to do it (which, by the way, is WONDERFUL)...
Me: "So. Is that okay with the Episcopal church?"
Mother Beth: "No."
...lots more discussion about why it isn't, including the forces of evil spirits who can come in and snag me and I wouldn't know it and then I'd have lost my moral compass and by the way even though 40% of the Bible is prophecy and Jesus could prophecy and He told us that "everything I do, and more, you can do too," doesn't really mean that me, improbable Priscilla Keresey, is the kind of person he's talking about...
Actually she was very gentle about it, and concerned about my community of accountability -- like, WHO would watch over me or who would guide me to make sure that I am not being snagged by evil spirits and I said "That's why I want to be part of a spiritual community! Please let me in!" (Another topic for another time: I actually don't believe in evil but the Christians do and I certainly wasn't going to argue that point with a pastor, who has much more academic knowledge to back up her side of the debate).
By this time though I was so fragmented, I was replaying every rejection I ever got in my entire life -- and now rejected AGAIN by God! My heart was breaking, and I felt so sad that I could hardly speak. And I was angry too: it's not like I'm a whore or a tax collector (who even Jesus loved and had supper with).
Mother Beth assured me I was welcome at the church, and she hoped I would continue to come. I told her I would, but I didn't mean it. How can I? How can I go and listen to the word of God in a community that thinks I'm not Godly? When I left she wouldn't let me buy lunch even though that was my invitation, and I didn't even take the reference form out of my purse. She didn't mention it either, so I guess we both knew it wasn't going to work out.
Maybe if I was welcomed into a Christian community I would see my own off-track ways and repent. But I just don't think I'm off-track. But maybe that just means I've already been snagged by evil spirits and my moral compass is so out of whack I can't even see myself that I'm off-track. I actually think what I do helps people.
Maybe I'll start a church or a religion of my own. One that says, how God made you is perfect. You are all welcome. We as a church are here to support you. You don't have to apply to be loved by us and by God. You don't have to obey rules to be supported by us. Carry your own lamp and light your own way, because if you see the light in your own heart you are seeing God.
I guess I better get on the phone and call the Admissions Office to let them know I'll be staying outside for now.
Over the past several months I've been talking here about this yearning I feel to involve God more publicly in the work I do; to serve God through healing or therapy or ministry or by whatever pathway He sees fit. To that end, I've been investigating attending a seminary or furthering my education -- and I settled (almost) on attending Alliance Graduate School of Counseling. By studying there I would receive a degree in Christian Mental Health Counseling, which would lead to licensure in NY (and 40 other states). So I could be a "therapist," I could take insurance, my shingle would select for those people who already involve God in their healing -- or are open to it -- and we'd all meet with more success.
Except my application requires a Pastoral Reference, which means I have to have been attending a Christian church for over a year, and have a relationship with my pastor who would of course know me well enough to answer the very specific questions on the form. Which I have not been doing. For about one month I have been attending a local Episcopal church on the recommendation of a client, and I've enjoyed it very much. The pastor is a woman, which is almost an automatic check in the "Pro" column, and she's well-spoken and friendly and so far her sermons have made some of the Old Testament Epiphany passages relevant -- even the one that says if a divorced woman remarries she is committing adultery. But I've only been to services three times!
I called the Admissions director at AGSC with this kind of important bit of information and while she recovered pretty quickly, the initial silence on the other end of the line was deafening. How on earth could I hope to go to a Christian graduate school if I wasn't a practicing Christian? (Another topic for another time: isn't the point of going to school to learn or begin something new? Isn't school supposed to be for those who don't know, not those who already do?)
She came up with a not-too-complicated plan: I'd meet with my new pastor, tell her of my intention to go to school in the fall and ask her if she'd be willing to complete one reference form now, and then once again in September before school began and we'd presumably have gotten to know each other better. I emailed the pastor (let's call her Mother Beth) gave her a bit of my history (including what I do for a living), told her about the Pastoral Reference form and asked if I could meet her for lunch or coffee.
We met yesterday and it was all I could do to keep from crying. Not because of her: she's a lovely, articulate, non-judgmental person. I gave her a brief outline of my spiritual history, which includes being raised in the Catholic church and practicing as a Catholic until my husband wanted a divorce and my parish priest told me I was no longer welcome in the church and wouldn't be able to receive communion (maybe now you can understand my hypersensitivity to the Old Testament divorce/adultery passage). Followed by 15 years of searching for a spiritual community that didn't require that I apply to the people in that community for the privilege of celebrating God's love with them. I think I tried it all, everything from Orthodox to New Age -- but always wanting to come home to the the Holy Trinity.
So here's the part in the story I'm telling her where I always duck, because it's here where I always get rejected:
Mother Beth: "Tell me about what you do for a living."
Me (deep breath, tiny voice, looking at the floor): "I'm a psychic medium."
...lots of discussion about how I do what I do and how it feels for me to do it (which, by the way, is WONDERFUL)...
Me: "So. Is that okay with the Episcopal church?"
Mother Beth: "No."
...lots more discussion about why it isn't, including the forces of evil spirits who can come in and snag me and I wouldn't know it and then I'd have lost my moral compass and by the way even though 40% of the Bible is prophecy and Jesus could prophecy and He told us that "everything I do, and more, you can do too," doesn't really mean that me, improbable Priscilla Keresey, is the kind of person he's talking about...
Actually she was very gentle about it, and concerned about my community of accountability -- like, WHO would watch over me or who would guide me to make sure that I am not being snagged by evil spirits and I said "That's why I want to be part of a spiritual community! Please let me in!" (Another topic for another time: I actually don't believe in evil but the Christians do and I certainly wasn't going to argue that point with a pastor, who has much more academic knowledge to back up her side of the debate).
By this time though I was so fragmented, I was replaying every rejection I ever got in my entire life -- and now rejected AGAIN by God! My heart was breaking, and I felt so sad that I could hardly speak. And I was angry too: it's not like I'm a whore or a tax collector (who even Jesus loved and had supper with).
Mother Beth assured me I was welcome at the church, and she hoped I would continue to come. I told her I would, but I didn't mean it. How can I? How can I go and listen to the word of God in a community that thinks I'm not Godly? When I left she wouldn't let me buy lunch even though that was my invitation, and I didn't even take the reference form out of my purse. She didn't mention it either, so I guess we both knew it wasn't going to work out.
Maybe if I was welcomed into a Christian community I would see my own off-track ways and repent. But I just don't think I'm off-track. But maybe that just means I've already been snagged by evil spirits and my moral compass is so out of whack I can't even see myself that I'm off-track. I actually think what I do helps people.
Maybe I'll start a church or a religion of my own. One that says, how God made you is perfect. You are all welcome. We as a church are here to support you. You don't have to apply to be loved by us and by God. You don't have to obey rules to be supported by us. Carry your own lamp and light your own way, because if you see the light in your own heart you are seeing God.
I guess I better get on the phone and call the Admissions Office to let them know I'll be staying outside for now.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Sunday's Sermon
In my work I use hypnosis, intuitive ability and energy healing to help my clients achieve their goals. in all of these modalities the person must choose healing; I cannot force hypnosis on an unwilling person; I cannot make a person accept my psychic intuition about their future or the cause of their medical condition, and I can’t compel a person to let in healing energy if they are unwilling to perceive themselves well.
The reputation and nature of these modalities is cause enough to select for the clients most open to change using these tools. Most of my clients come to me because they have an awareness of an obstacle, limiting belief or bad habit that stands between them now and what they perceive to be success.
Our minds work in mysterious ways, sometimes which are thoroughly baffling to us. I have clients who are completely certain they want to be thin, yet they sabotage every small success they achieve towards their weight loss goals. I have clients who swear they would do anything to be pain free, yet resist all efforts towards healing. I’ve worked with people who know their alcohol or drug use is undermining everything that’s important to them, and yet they cannot seem to stop.
I learned in my hypnosis training that when we sabotage ourselves it is in part due to conflicting subconscious desires. We’re literally of two minds. For instance: a woman may not want to lose weight because it may mean she will need to be intimate with her spouse again, and she really doesn’t want that. This is not something the conscious mind might even be aware of, but her subconscious motivations -- or secondary gain -- are quite clearly being expressed when she takes a second helping, binges on dessert, or is just “too tired” to go to the gym.
A man with knee pain so severe can’t walk more than a few steps comes in with a conscious mind motivation to get well. But his secondary gain, or subconscious motivation, may tell him “hey, you’re getting a disability check, you’ve worked so hard, you really need a rest. If this knee heals you have to go back to work and you’re just still so tired.”
A young teenager who abuses drugs and alcohol may see the downward spiral she’s riding, and believe and voice a desire to change. But her subconscious mind might recognize the frightening feelings of vulnerability in sexual maturity, or hear in her mind’s ear the admonitions of an over-cautious parent, and numb those feelings with alcohol. The subconscious mind always chooses safety over risk, and sometimes it feels so much safer to avoid or insulate or repress uncomfortable feelings than to process them.
Part of my job as a hypnotist, intuitive and healer is to listen for and recognize these subconscious motivations and to gently help the client acknowledge and then change them. For some clients this secondary gain is so strong we don’t succeed. They don’t come back for their next session; they get lost on the way, or get sick; sometimes they just come in and fight with me!
On my intake form, I ask my clients if they practice any form of prayer, meditation, faith or religion, and if they believe in God. Aside from that, I never initiate a conversation about God, nor do I include any reference to God in our treatment plan. The only time the subject comes up is if the client brings it up. I always felt that the client knows best what he or she needs to do to heal, and it’s my job to listen and then reflect that back through the tools of my practice.
Recently I did a kind of survey of the clients I know to be successful. How do I know they’re successful? They have stayed in contact with me, they’ve sent me referrals, and they return for follow-up sessions.
I have one client who has lost over 100lbs in less than one year, has completely come out of her shell -- independent of her weight loss by the way. She has gone from being thoroughly depressed, terribly obese, hating her job, living with an apathetic husband and caring for her elderly parents -- to a vibrant, optimistic, slender and motivated woman -- still living in the exact same circumstances but accepting her present situation with grace and serenity. She sent her sister to me who was also quite overweight, and over the same amount of time the sister has had only intermittent success.
What’s the difference between these two?
I saw another client who was desperate to change her abusive relationship, but fearful about leaving. Working together using the sixth sense and with help from her people in spirit, she could see a different future for herself, and confidently took her destiny into her own hands. Another client in a similar situation calls me regularly for my psychic input, yet continues to relinquish control of her life to outside circumstances and individuals.
Why did one of these women succeed and the other fail?
I began to go through my files and found some surface differences between what I would call the successes and the still-not-successes. But the one, constant, profound difference across the board, was that the successes not only believed in God, but practiced some kind of faith.
Let me say this again: those people who succeeded believed in God, and practiced that belief.
I know I’m good at what I do. My kind of therapy self-selects for open-minded people to begin with. And yet, there are still clients who fail to achieve their goals.
I truly believe we can help one another and we can help ourselves, but at some point, if we want true healing, we must make room for divine intervention. I know the 12-step programs, of which I’m only vaguely familiar, also include surrender to a Higher Power.
So let’s talk about how to do that. How can we invite God in, to complete the job we start with our own minds?
Let’s keep in mind that I’m talking about ALL kinds of healing: physical, romantic, financial, emotional, career... every field in which we might feel lacking or incomplete. I’m talking about healing from fear, doubt, grief, anger, resentment -- healing the past, old hurts or bad memories, and healing the present.
We can begin with prayer -- that is, we can ASK. As it’s written in Psalm 30:2, “I called to the Lord my God for help and he healed me.” One of my clients once said to me, when I suggested this to her, “I never talk to God, I can’t just show up one day and ask for help!” And I said, “why not?” God loves you. Just because you never prayed before doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to pray.
One of the things we can do is to stop thinking about God as a parent in the same way we think about our human parents. I don’t know about you, but I would NEVER ask my mother for help. Well, that’s not entirely true -- I’d ask her for certain kinds of help -- like, what color should I paint my kitchen cabinets -- but I’d never ask her for financial help for instance. It’s too fraught with conflict and obligation. I’d be paying her back long after the IOU was settled.
I don’t think God holds things debt over our heads like that. I don’t think he’s keeping score about how much we’ve already asked for and weighing it against what we’re asking for now. Remember, God is limitless. There is no end to God’s resources. He’s the creator!
So when you recognize that you need healing in any area -- losing weight, giving up alcohol, getting a job -- remember, God’s not measuring your request against all the other requests you’ve made in your life.
So ask for help. Don’t know how to do that? We’ve been given instructions: Try what is written there in Psalm 30:2 -- call to the Lord for help. “Lord God, please help me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried and tried to lose weight. I can’t see my way out of this. Please show me what to do. Please heal me.”
What happens next? You listen -- to yourself. God will speak directly to you through YOUR experience. If you’re waiting for a big booming voice from the sky saying “Don’t eat that” -- you’ll be waiting forever. God speaks to you with that still small voice we’re always hearing about in self-help books. It might feel like intuition, a hunch, an urge to do or not do something. It might just be expressed as the courage to sit with an uncomfortable emotion rather than numbing or distracting yourself with food.
To paraphrase the second-century gnostic Monoimus: “Abandon the search for God and take yourself as the starting place.”
The Scriptures are loaded with references to having God within us. Probably the most famous is Luke 17:21 “Neither shall they say, See here! or, see there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”
When you listen, you yield. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who asks you a question and then argues with your answer? This happens for me in my psychic readings a fair percentage of the time. Someone comes in with a question, and already having the answer they want in mind. If I should give them a different answer, they argue with me or they ask me again and again in all kinds of different ways. They’re not listening; I’m giving them information on how they can see a situation differently or how they can direct their energies differently, but I’ve monkeyed with their plan and at that point they just shut down.
So after you ask, listen. Yield. Let go. Say, “God, Please help me stop drinking. I can’t do it on my own. I’m too embarrassed to go to a meeting or to admit it to anyone else but you. I need help, please help me. God, I’m listening. YOU tell me what to do. You direct me.” And when you get the idea or feel the courage, YIELD to it. Surrender to it. Follow where you are being lead.
We all know God helps those who help themselves, right? Or is that just a New England, Yankee thing? We help ourselves when we pray, when we listen, when we make good decisions. We don’t help ourselves when in spite of the answers or direction we’re getting we stick with what WE think is best.
If you involve God in your healing -- whatever it may be you seek healing from -- I promise you will meet with success.
Before closing, I’d like you to consider something else, quite profound and at the foundation of all prayer and healing. Consider -- just for a moment -- that you are NOT broken. John Dryden, the English poet who lived in the last half of the 17th century wrote “God never made His work for man to mend.” If you can wrap your mind around it, pray for God to reveal you to yourself, as you really are. Whole, complete, beloved. Pray for God to release you from your vulnerabilities, doubts and fears. Pray to see yourself as you were when you came into this world: innocent, beautiful, full of promise, open to everything, loving everyone.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will give you rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]- Matthew 11:28
The reputation and nature of these modalities is cause enough to select for the clients most open to change using these tools. Most of my clients come to me because they have an awareness of an obstacle, limiting belief or bad habit that stands between them now and what they perceive to be success.
Our minds work in mysterious ways, sometimes which are thoroughly baffling to us. I have clients who are completely certain they want to be thin, yet they sabotage every small success they achieve towards their weight loss goals. I have clients who swear they would do anything to be pain free, yet resist all efforts towards healing. I’ve worked with people who know their alcohol or drug use is undermining everything that’s important to them, and yet they cannot seem to stop.
I learned in my hypnosis training that when we sabotage ourselves it is in part due to conflicting subconscious desires. We’re literally of two minds. For instance: a woman may not want to lose weight because it may mean she will need to be intimate with her spouse again, and she really doesn’t want that. This is not something the conscious mind might even be aware of, but her subconscious motivations -- or secondary gain -- are quite clearly being expressed when she takes a second helping, binges on dessert, or is just “too tired” to go to the gym.
A man with knee pain so severe can’t walk more than a few steps comes in with a conscious mind motivation to get well. But his secondary gain, or subconscious motivation, may tell him “hey, you’re getting a disability check, you’ve worked so hard, you really need a rest. If this knee heals you have to go back to work and you’re just still so tired.”
A young teenager who abuses drugs and alcohol may see the downward spiral she’s riding, and believe and voice a desire to change. But her subconscious mind might recognize the frightening feelings of vulnerability in sexual maturity, or hear in her mind’s ear the admonitions of an over-cautious parent, and numb those feelings with alcohol. The subconscious mind always chooses safety over risk, and sometimes it feels so much safer to avoid or insulate or repress uncomfortable feelings than to process them.
Part of my job as a hypnotist, intuitive and healer is to listen for and recognize these subconscious motivations and to gently help the client acknowledge and then change them. For some clients this secondary gain is so strong we don’t succeed. They don’t come back for their next session; they get lost on the way, or get sick; sometimes they just come in and fight with me!
On my intake form, I ask my clients if they practice any form of prayer, meditation, faith or religion, and if they believe in God. Aside from that, I never initiate a conversation about God, nor do I include any reference to God in our treatment plan. The only time the subject comes up is if the client brings it up. I always felt that the client knows best what he or she needs to do to heal, and it’s my job to listen and then reflect that back through the tools of my practice.
Recently I did a kind of survey of the clients I know to be successful. How do I know they’re successful? They have stayed in contact with me, they’ve sent me referrals, and they return for follow-up sessions.
I have one client who has lost over 100lbs in less than one year, has completely come out of her shell -- independent of her weight loss by the way. She has gone from being thoroughly depressed, terribly obese, hating her job, living with an apathetic husband and caring for her elderly parents -- to a vibrant, optimistic, slender and motivated woman -- still living in the exact same circumstances but accepting her present situation with grace and serenity. She sent her sister to me who was also quite overweight, and over the same amount of time the sister has had only intermittent success.
What’s the difference between these two?
I saw another client who was desperate to change her abusive relationship, but fearful about leaving. Working together using the sixth sense and with help from her people in spirit, she could see a different future for herself, and confidently took her destiny into her own hands. Another client in a similar situation calls me regularly for my psychic input, yet continues to relinquish control of her life to outside circumstances and individuals.
Why did one of these women succeed and the other fail?
I began to go through my files and found some surface differences between what I would call the successes and the still-not-successes. But the one, constant, profound difference across the board, was that the successes not only believed in God, but practiced some kind of faith.
Let me say this again: those people who succeeded believed in God, and practiced that belief.
I know I’m good at what I do. My kind of therapy self-selects for open-minded people to begin with. And yet, there are still clients who fail to achieve their goals.
I truly believe we can help one another and we can help ourselves, but at some point, if we want true healing, we must make room for divine intervention. I know the 12-step programs, of which I’m only vaguely familiar, also include surrender to a Higher Power.
So let’s talk about how to do that. How can we invite God in, to complete the job we start with our own minds?
Let’s keep in mind that I’m talking about ALL kinds of healing: physical, romantic, financial, emotional, career... every field in which we might feel lacking or incomplete. I’m talking about healing from fear, doubt, grief, anger, resentment -- healing the past, old hurts or bad memories, and healing the present.
We can begin with prayer -- that is, we can ASK. As it’s written in Psalm 30:2, “I called to the Lord my God for help and he healed me.” One of my clients once said to me, when I suggested this to her, “I never talk to God, I can’t just show up one day and ask for help!” And I said, “why not?” God loves you. Just because you never prayed before doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to pray.
One of the things we can do is to stop thinking about God as a parent in the same way we think about our human parents. I don’t know about you, but I would NEVER ask my mother for help. Well, that’s not entirely true -- I’d ask her for certain kinds of help -- like, what color should I paint my kitchen cabinets -- but I’d never ask her for financial help for instance. It’s too fraught with conflict and obligation. I’d be paying her back long after the IOU was settled.
I don’t think God holds things debt over our heads like that. I don’t think he’s keeping score about how much we’ve already asked for and weighing it against what we’re asking for now. Remember, God is limitless. There is no end to God’s resources. He’s the creator!
So when you recognize that you need healing in any area -- losing weight, giving up alcohol, getting a job -- remember, God’s not measuring your request against all the other requests you’ve made in your life.
So ask for help. Don’t know how to do that? We’ve been given instructions: Try what is written there in Psalm 30:2 -- call to the Lord for help. “Lord God, please help me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried and tried to lose weight. I can’t see my way out of this. Please show me what to do. Please heal me.”
What happens next? You listen -- to yourself. God will speak directly to you through YOUR experience. If you’re waiting for a big booming voice from the sky saying “Don’t eat that” -- you’ll be waiting forever. God speaks to you with that still small voice we’re always hearing about in self-help books. It might feel like intuition, a hunch, an urge to do or not do something. It might just be expressed as the courage to sit with an uncomfortable emotion rather than numbing or distracting yourself with food.
To paraphrase the second-century gnostic Monoimus: “Abandon the search for God and take yourself as the starting place.”
The Scriptures are loaded with references to having God within us. Probably the most famous is Luke 17:21 “Neither shall they say, See here! or, see there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”
When you listen, you yield. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who asks you a question and then argues with your answer? This happens for me in my psychic readings a fair percentage of the time. Someone comes in with a question, and already having the answer they want in mind. If I should give them a different answer, they argue with me or they ask me again and again in all kinds of different ways. They’re not listening; I’m giving them information on how they can see a situation differently or how they can direct their energies differently, but I’ve monkeyed with their plan and at that point they just shut down.
So after you ask, listen. Yield. Let go. Say, “God, Please help me stop drinking. I can’t do it on my own. I’m too embarrassed to go to a meeting or to admit it to anyone else but you. I need help, please help me. God, I’m listening. YOU tell me what to do. You direct me.” And when you get the idea or feel the courage, YIELD to it. Surrender to it. Follow where you are being lead.
We all know God helps those who help themselves, right? Or is that just a New England, Yankee thing? We help ourselves when we pray, when we listen, when we make good decisions. We don’t help ourselves when in spite of the answers or direction we’re getting we stick with what WE think is best.
If you involve God in your healing -- whatever it may be you seek healing from -- I promise you will meet with success.
Before closing, I’d like you to consider something else, quite profound and at the foundation of all prayer and healing. Consider -- just for a moment -- that you are NOT broken. John Dryden, the English poet who lived in the last half of the 17th century wrote “God never made His work for man to mend.” If you can wrap your mind around it, pray for God to reveal you to yourself, as you really are. Whole, complete, beloved. Pray for God to release you from your vulnerabilities, doubts and fears. Pray to see yourself as you were when you came into this world: innocent, beautiful, full of promise, open to everything, loving everyone.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will give you rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]- Matthew 11:28
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
There's Always Tomorrow
Every tradition or oracle or divination technique has something to teach us.
I just picked up a book on the I Ching -- and man, is this different from what my college boyfriend showed me. Back then, he showed me how to toss a coin and then look up the meaning in his reference book. I thought he was so cool.
That was more than 20 years ago, so when I found a copy of an I Ching "how to" book in the bargain bin I thought I'd toss the coin again and see what was up for me in the year ahead. Except this book is WAY more comprehensive and in fact was a little annoying to handle when I'd just expected to sit down with my coffee and chat about the future. I had to slog through about 6 chapters of history, theory, ways to read the coins, marbles and yarrow sticks, supple and strong lines, young stable yin transitioning to old yang, etc. I was just about to give up -- Good Lord, I don't need to learn another tool when I haven't got my own system down yet -- when I hit on perhaps the most profound description of a challenge or problem I'd ever encountered.
According to this author (can't bother to get up from the computer to find the book and tell you his name, sorry), the spirits are always trying to communicate with us -- our ancestors, spirits of nature, "angry spirits" a.k.a. old grudges or bad habits from our past, God and the angels, even our imagination is a spirit.
If we have a problem, or are stuck somehow, this author says the ancient Chinese believed it was a spirit trying to get our attention. See, the spirit people want to help us, but they can't speak our human language so they endeavor to get our attention by throwing up a road block for instance, in the hopes that we'll recognize this blockage and start to look within, pay attention to our intuition and other signs, so we can see our way through or around something. What the I Ching and other divination tools offer us is a way to tune out our regular way of thinking (conscious mind) and look at something symbolic which hopefully will get us to see the problem in a new way -- or to find the solution in a new action or thought pattern.
The I Ching in particular guides us through change. So part of this "obstacle message" includes real-life advice on how to navigate the change that will inevitably happen when we can clearly see what transition is taking place. Fate is involved too; what fate has brought us as far as challenges go, and what our responsibility is to fate and fulfilling what we're called on to do (once we finally get the message).
Once I got over my astonishment at the simplicity and directness of this approach to problem-solving, I applied it immediately to myself. So okay, what's a problem I have? How about this little guy:
"What the #@$% am I meant to be doing with my life?"
I know it involves God, and helping people -- but HOW? Therapy (did I tell you I'm thinking about going back to graduate school? )? Psychic-mediumship? Channeling? Energy Healing? Hypnosis (please, no!)? Teaching about self-help? Writing about it?
Well, according to this author, this issue has been coming up in my life because my spirit people, my guides and ancestors and maybe God himself, are trying to get my attention. They want me to stop looking at my life the traditional way, stop thinking about it so analytically and rationally, relax my mind a bit and listen to what they're telling me about which direction to go in. Hallelujah! It's not because I can't focus (thanks Mom); it's not because I'm a jack of all trades and master of none (thanks Dad); it's not because I'm restless or bored (thanks Sam). I'm actually not doing anything wrong, or if I am, I'm only guilty of not recognizing that someone is trying to help me.
You might have thought I'd jump right on this and toss the yarrow sticks. Nope, not yet, and I honestly don't know why. Maybe I'm a little freaked out about finally getting my questions answered. For heaven's sake, once that happens I'll actually have to DO something about it. No more "I don't know where I'm supposed to go so I'll wait for a sign." No more half-succeeding: I'll either succeed 100% or fail brilliantly. Yikes.
Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.
I just picked up a book on the I Ching -- and man, is this different from what my college boyfriend showed me. Back then, he showed me how to toss a coin and then look up the meaning in his reference book. I thought he was so cool.
That was more than 20 years ago, so when I found a copy of an I Ching "how to" book in the bargain bin I thought I'd toss the coin again and see what was up for me in the year ahead. Except this book is WAY more comprehensive and in fact was a little annoying to handle when I'd just expected to sit down with my coffee and chat about the future. I had to slog through about 6 chapters of history, theory, ways to read the coins, marbles and yarrow sticks, supple and strong lines, young stable yin transitioning to old yang, etc. I was just about to give up -- Good Lord, I don't need to learn another tool when I haven't got my own system down yet -- when I hit on perhaps the most profound description of a challenge or problem I'd ever encountered.
According to this author (can't bother to get up from the computer to find the book and tell you his name, sorry), the spirits are always trying to communicate with us -- our ancestors, spirits of nature, "angry spirits" a.k.a. old grudges or bad habits from our past, God and the angels, even our imagination is a spirit.
If we have a problem, or are stuck somehow, this author says the ancient Chinese believed it was a spirit trying to get our attention. See, the spirit people want to help us, but they can't speak our human language so they endeavor to get our attention by throwing up a road block for instance, in the hopes that we'll recognize this blockage and start to look within, pay attention to our intuition and other signs, so we can see our way through or around something. What the I Ching and other divination tools offer us is a way to tune out our regular way of thinking (conscious mind) and look at something symbolic which hopefully will get us to see the problem in a new way -- or to find the solution in a new action or thought pattern.
The I Ching in particular guides us through change. So part of this "obstacle message" includes real-life advice on how to navigate the change that will inevitably happen when we can clearly see what transition is taking place. Fate is involved too; what fate has brought us as far as challenges go, and what our responsibility is to fate and fulfilling what we're called on to do (once we finally get the message).
Once I got over my astonishment at the simplicity and directness of this approach to problem-solving, I applied it immediately to myself. So okay, what's a problem I have? How about this little guy:
"What the #@$% am I meant to be doing with my life?"
I know it involves God, and helping people -- but HOW? Therapy (did I tell you I'm thinking about going back to graduate school? )? Psychic-mediumship? Channeling? Energy Healing? Hypnosis (please, no!)? Teaching about self-help? Writing about it?
Well, according to this author, this issue has been coming up in my life because my spirit people, my guides and ancestors and maybe God himself, are trying to get my attention. They want me to stop looking at my life the traditional way, stop thinking about it so analytically and rationally, relax my mind a bit and listen to what they're telling me about which direction to go in. Hallelujah! It's not because I can't focus (thanks Mom); it's not because I'm a jack of all trades and master of none (thanks Dad); it's not because I'm restless or bored (thanks Sam). I'm actually not doing anything wrong, or if I am, I'm only guilty of not recognizing that someone is trying to help me.
You might have thought I'd jump right on this and toss the yarrow sticks. Nope, not yet, and I honestly don't know why. Maybe I'm a little freaked out about finally getting my questions answered. For heaven's sake, once that happens I'll actually have to DO something about it. No more "I don't know where I'm supposed to go so I'll wait for a sign." No more half-succeeding: I'll either succeed 100% or fail brilliantly. Yikes.
Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Clear Your Mind and They Will Come
I had two back-to-back message circles last week: one Friday evening and another Saturday afternoon. I've gotten kind of cavalier in my approach to conducting these sessions, and I've noticed recently that my performance has been (for me) sub-par. I know my guests are thrilled with the connections we make, but for me lately I've seen fewer tears of joy, heard less astonished laughter, and felt somehow less satisfied at the end of our time together.
Usually I prepare for a circle at my house by saying a rosary, or several decades of it if not the whole entire thing. And when I say, "I say the rosary," I mean I say the Our Fathers and the Hail Marys. I don't know how to do the other parts, the holy mysteries, joys and sorrows. As the process has become more familiar for me and my confidence has grown, I've taken to saying the rosary as I putter around the house putting chairs in place, getting the tissues out, etc. I haven't exactly been on my knees with my attention focused on either one of my Divine Parents.
When I conduct a circle somewhere other than my house I usually say the rosary in the car on the way. I also toss out the standard pleas to the spirit people to show up and be clear with me so I can make the positive connections with their physical people.
Before Friday's session I decided to meditate rather than say the rosary, so I sat in my living room (after all the chairs were set up) and just quieted my mind. I concentrated on my breathing for a moment or two and then let the images, feelings and impressions sort of wash over me. The guests were a bit early, which started my dog barking, which yanked me from my blissful serenity rather more quickly than I prefer to surface. Yet once everyone was settled, I was thrilled to conduct one of the best seances I think I ever have! Such delightful details came through, of the sort that make the spirit people so real, so at home and so present that we're all convinced over and over again of eternity. Poignant gestures, jokes, and apologies flowed so perfectly I think I had a better time than my paying guests. Two hours came and went (there were 9 present) so swiftly that I was reluctant to end the evening.
Afterwards I made an immediate connection between my state of mind and the success the spirit people had in impressing such distinct details on me. It didn't matter that my meditation was cut short, that I'd failed to say my prayers or even to beg the spirit folk to show up loud and clear. I set out to do the same for my Saturday session.
But instead I took a nap. I awoke at 3:35 for a 4PM circle, and had just washed my face when the first car pulled up the drive -- 20 minutes early! Though there were only 4 present, and each guest made a positive and confident connection with a spirit person, I felt so much less successful than just the day before. Why? Because I meditated and cleared my mind just a bit.
There are lots of good books on meditation, but I don't think you need one to get started. I think "clear your mind" just means: when you find your mind wandering off to something you have to do, some memory, etc., just stop thinking about it and go back to thinking about something unprovocative, like your breathing, the ambient sounds around you, or a spot somewhere behind your forehead.
My next circle is Wednesday, and I intend to meditate beforehand; maybe last weekend's experience was just a coincidence, but I don't think so. The contrast was just too obvious. So the next time someone, some book or some guru says "clear your mind," just try it -- I know it made a huge difference in the service I delivered!
Usually I prepare for a circle at my house by saying a rosary, or several decades of it if not the whole entire thing. And when I say, "I say the rosary," I mean I say the Our Fathers and the Hail Marys. I don't know how to do the other parts, the holy mysteries, joys and sorrows. As the process has become more familiar for me and my confidence has grown, I've taken to saying the rosary as I putter around the house putting chairs in place, getting the tissues out, etc. I haven't exactly been on my knees with my attention focused on either one of my Divine Parents.
When I conduct a circle somewhere other than my house I usually say the rosary in the car on the way. I also toss out the standard pleas to the spirit people to show up and be clear with me so I can make the positive connections with their physical people.
Before Friday's session I decided to meditate rather than say the rosary, so I sat in my living room (after all the chairs were set up) and just quieted my mind. I concentrated on my breathing for a moment or two and then let the images, feelings and impressions sort of wash over me. The guests were a bit early, which started my dog barking, which yanked me from my blissful serenity rather more quickly than I prefer to surface. Yet once everyone was settled, I was thrilled to conduct one of the best seances I think I ever have! Such delightful details came through, of the sort that make the spirit people so real, so at home and so present that we're all convinced over and over again of eternity. Poignant gestures, jokes, and apologies flowed so perfectly I think I had a better time than my paying guests. Two hours came and went (there were 9 present) so swiftly that I was reluctant to end the evening.
Afterwards I made an immediate connection between my state of mind and the success the spirit people had in impressing such distinct details on me. It didn't matter that my meditation was cut short, that I'd failed to say my prayers or even to beg the spirit folk to show up loud and clear. I set out to do the same for my Saturday session.
But instead I took a nap. I awoke at 3:35 for a 4PM circle, and had just washed my face when the first car pulled up the drive -- 20 minutes early! Though there were only 4 present, and each guest made a positive and confident connection with a spirit person, I felt so much less successful than just the day before. Why? Because I meditated and cleared my mind just a bit.
There are lots of good books on meditation, but I don't think you need one to get started. I think "clear your mind" just means: when you find your mind wandering off to something you have to do, some memory, etc., just stop thinking about it and go back to thinking about something unprovocative, like your breathing, the ambient sounds around you, or a spot somewhere behind your forehead.
My next circle is Wednesday, and I intend to meditate beforehand; maybe last weekend's experience was just a coincidence, but I don't think so. The contrast was just too obvious. So the next time someone, some book or some guru says "clear your mind," just try it -- I know it made a huge difference in the service I delivered!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
God Gave Us Beer So We Can Be Happy
So it's been more than a month since I last checked in. Honestly, I haven't been doing anything even remotely metaphysical as far as self-development goes. I spent a whole lot of time getting the Putnam Valley First Annual Psychic Fair off the ground, and it was much more successful than I'd dreamed. People even in towns like mine seem much more open than I'd anticipated.
And now that things have settled back down again, I can once again turn my attention back to my favorite subject: me. Well, more like: me and whether or not I'm fulfilling my purpose here on earth.
I had lunch yesterday with a friend from college whom I haven't seen in 25 years. A couple of summers ago we started talking on the phone for the first time since graduation, and that's because I've been doing readings for him; yesterday was a purely social visit so I enjoyed a more balanced exchange of ideas.
Let me preface what I'm about to say with this caveat: I'm not an elitist, at all. If anything I'm probably anti-elitist, coming though I do from a kind of well-heeled New England family with country club memberships and generations of good teeth and robust leisure time. Both of my parents are college-educated; we have always had a summer home; every one of my siblings has a career and married well; favorite Sunday afternoons at home (even now) involve discussing books, invigorating exercise in the fresh air, and cooking, dining and cleaning up together. Yet something about the snobbery associated with that lifestyle (though never existent in my upbringing) was always so off-putting even to me that I sought out friends, work and sweethearts outside of that realm.
Anyway, caveat disclaimed, what I enjoyed most about my lunch with Jude was talking about God, service, politics and life-calling with someone who is smart the way I am. Yeah, yeah, I know. But it was so sweet to be able to talk to someone I didn't have to explain myself to, or provide back-story for! I could look this man in the eye, over a beer at The Slaughtered Lamb in the West Village, and describe a spiritual conflict I was struggling through -- and listen to his thoughtfully weighed responses that had nothing to do with his point of view but which were inherently designed to draw more from me.
I'm reminded of a brief sojourn with Toastmasters years ago; we had to learn to speak extemporaneously (and cogently) on a subject chosen for us -- even if we knew nothing about it. I guess Jude was listening like that: he doesn't really know me, it's been decades since we talked without money being exchanged, and yet the eloquence in his listening and subsequent responses was of the kind that blossoms naturally out of a great liberal arts education.
It's only in the presence of that kind of listener that the speaker (me) finds herself more clearly crafting the question. Posing my life-purpose questions aloud in front of anyone who listens less actively -- insert anti-elitist caveat here again -- doesn't encourage further refinement because the listener doesn't demand more from me.
Before yesterday, I had been asking myself these kind of variations on the same theme:
- what does God want me to do?
- how can I best serve the world?
- am I supposed to write? paint? teach? speak?
- shouldn't I pursue a single path: hypnosis, psychic readings, healing, writing or teaching?
- who am I supposed to be talking to, working with, teaching?
- is it also okay to want to be rich?
...et cetera.
In the 24 hours since my lunch with Jude, my mind has not stopped circling in on the question I really need to be asking myself:
- how can I show the people who are ready to listen that they are free to love themselves the way God loves them?
It's kind of like I just had a really great working lunch with a successful colleague who has helped me refine my mission statement in the business of being Me. By virtue of his particular brand of listening to me, Jude has helped me to define my target audience: those people who are sitting on the fence between "I-got-it-all-figured-out-New-Agers" and "That's-all-woo-woo-bullshit-if-I-can't-see-it-it-ain't-real-ers." I love healthy skeptics! When someone comes to me for a reading, a Message Circle, energy healing or hypnosis and they are unsure if they even believe in what I'm doing -- and they have a positive experience -- they tell everyone. They usually have wide circles of friends and co-workers and they are happy to contrast their skepticism with their positive results to anyone who will listen. Can you imagine a more weighty testimonial? Like Dr. Brian Weiss, the conservative MD who during one of his psychiatric sessions witnessed his patient regress to a past life -- and then wrote about it -- there is no one more believable than a skeptic who takes a risk by broadcasting their own counterintuitive experience.
And it didn't end there with me and Jude. Me, really -- Jude probably has no idea the self-exploration he's triggered. What the refinement of that question has meant for me is a closer understanding of my life purpose. The obvious next steps involve the discovering of "how:"
- I can write about it
- I can bring in through mediumship or channeling the wonderful overarching perspective of the spirit people to help put fears, self-doubts, hopelessness into perspective
- I can minister (teach, speak, heal)
These look like the same questions I asked above don't they? Except now they're not questions, they're actions to take. Now there is no question mark at the end but rather a period, defining work to be done and statements to be made.
It's the last bullet in the list that sings the loudest to me, and I know that God and the spirit people are integral parts of this action, and that the last bullet incorporates the first two.
As I return to my meditation, my cries for help to my guides and to God now follow a thread, because I now have a subject about which I can ask - teach me!
And you can be sure, what I learn (and how I learn it) I'll share with you.
So here's what I would recommend: find someone you went to college with (or high school, trade school, whatever) and tell them what you want to do with your life, or what your challenge is, or where you are lost. Listen closely to how they respond to you, because if you're listening you'll find that their insight will bring you a little closer to what you really mean to say.
A problem defined is already half-solved.
And now that things have settled back down again, I can once again turn my attention back to my favorite subject: me. Well, more like: me and whether or not I'm fulfilling my purpose here on earth.
I had lunch yesterday with a friend from college whom I haven't seen in 25 years. A couple of summers ago we started talking on the phone for the first time since graduation, and that's because I've been doing readings for him; yesterday was a purely social visit so I enjoyed a more balanced exchange of ideas.
Let me preface what I'm about to say with this caveat: I'm not an elitist, at all. If anything I'm probably anti-elitist, coming though I do from a kind of well-heeled New England family with country club memberships and generations of good teeth and robust leisure time. Both of my parents are college-educated; we have always had a summer home; every one of my siblings has a career and married well; favorite Sunday afternoons at home (even now) involve discussing books, invigorating exercise in the fresh air, and cooking, dining and cleaning up together. Yet something about the snobbery associated with that lifestyle (though never existent in my upbringing) was always so off-putting even to me that I sought out friends, work and sweethearts outside of that realm.
Anyway, caveat disclaimed, what I enjoyed most about my lunch with Jude was talking about God, service, politics and life-calling with someone who is smart the way I am. Yeah, yeah, I know. But it was so sweet to be able to talk to someone I didn't have to explain myself to, or provide back-story for! I could look this man in the eye, over a beer at The Slaughtered Lamb in the West Village, and describe a spiritual conflict I was struggling through -- and listen to his thoughtfully weighed responses that had nothing to do with his point of view but which were inherently designed to draw more from me.
I'm reminded of a brief sojourn with Toastmasters years ago; we had to learn to speak extemporaneously (and cogently) on a subject chosen for us -- even if we knew nothing about it. I guess Jude was listening like that: he doesn't really know me, it's been decades since we talked without money being exchanged, and yet the eloquence in his listening and subsequent responses was of the kind that blossoms naturally out of a great liberal arts education.
It's only in the presence of that kind of listener that the speaker (me) finds herself more clearly crafting the question. Posing my life-purpose questions aloud in front of anyone who listens less actively -- insert anti-elitist caveat here again -- doesn't encourage further refinement because the listener doesn't demand more from me.
Before yesterday, I had been asking myself these kind of variations on the same theme:
- what does God want me to do?
- how can I best serve the world?
- am I supposed to write? paint? teach? speak?
- shouldn't I pursue a single path: hypnosis, psychic readings, healing, writing or teaching?
- who am I supposed to be talking to, working with, teaching?
- is it also okay to want to be rich?
...et cetera.
In the 24 hours since my lunch with Jude, my mind has not stopped circling in on the question I really need to be asking myself:
- how can I show the people who are ready to listen that they are free to love themselves the way God loves them?
It's kind of like I just had a really great working lunch with a successful colleague who has helped me refine my mission statement in the business of being Me. By virtue of his particular brand of listening to me, Jude has helped me to define my target audience: those people who are sitting on the fence between "I-got-it-all-figured-out-New-Agers" and "That's-all-woo-woo-bullshit-if-I-can't-see-it-it-ain't-real-ers." I love healthy skeptics! When someone comes to me for a reading, a Message Circle, energy healing or hypnosis and they are unsure if they even believe in what I'm doing -- and they have a positive experience -- they tell everyone. They usually have wide circles of friends and co-workers and they are happy to contrast their skepticism with their positive results to anyone who will listen. Can you imagine a more weighty testimonial? Like Dr. Brian Weiss, the conservative MD who during one of his psychiatric sessions witnessed his patient regress to a past life -- and then wrote about it -- there is no one more believable than a skeptic who takes a risk by broadcasting their own counterintuitive experience.
And it didn't end there with me and Jude. Me, really -- Jude probably has no idea the self-exploration he's triggered. What the refinement of that question has meant for me is a closer understanding of my life purpose. The obvious next steps involve the discovering of "how:"
- I can write about it
- I can bring in through mediumship or channeling the wonderful overarching perspective of the spirit people to help put fears, self-doubts, hopelessness into perspective
- I can minister (teach, speak, heal)
These look like the same questions I asked above don't they? Except now they're not questions, they're actions to take. Now there is no question mark at the end but rather a period, defining work to be done and statements to be made.
It's the last bullet in the list that sings the loudest to me, and I know that God and the spirit people are integral parts of this action, and that the last bullet incorporates the first two.
As I return to my meditation, my cries for help to my guides and to God now follow a thread, because I now have a subject about which I can ask - teach me!
And you can be sure, what I learn (and how I learn it) I'll share with you.
So here's what I would recommend: find someone you went to college with (or high school, trade school, whatever) and tell them what you want to do with your life, or what your challenge is, or where you are lost. Listen closely to how they respond to you, because if you're listening you'll find that their insight will bring you a little closer to what you really mean to say.
A problem defined is already half-solved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
