The Gentleman

I'm still continuing with my kundalini yoga practice, though I'm doing it at home because there aren't classes nearby. It's not quite as amazing as the first one, which could be because I'm alone, I'm using a DVD and I'm doing the same thing pretty frequently. Some interesting things have happened in the meditations that follow however.

People often ask me at my Message Circles what the spirit people DO out there, so I decided as part of my Circles and during my meditations that I'd ask. Usually in Message Circles the spirit person comes through and identifies him or herself through characteristics, illnesses, gifts, or sometimes a name. They also will offer evidence of their presence in the physical guest's life by commenting on a recent doctor visit, a new paint color for the baby's room, or what everyone had for dinner last night. I ask them for these kind of details not only as evidence of their identity, but as evidence that they are still part of the family even though they are in spirit.

Last Thursday after yoga I sat for a few minutes of meditation. The Gentleman (who shows himself as a skeleton to me, and first introduced himself during a past life regression several months ago) came in after a few minutes. I asked him to show me what happens after a spirit leaves a body, and he showed me that the spirit goes into a deep sleep. When I asked him, "for how long?" he just shrugged -- it depends on the time they need to adjust. While the spirit person is in this deep sleep, he showed me something like a scan going over them. It looked like what I've seen on TV of submarine computer consoles: kind of a sweeping line that detects bumps and blips in little flares of light.

This is what the scan was showing over the sleeping spirit, and the scan went back and forth until all blips and flares of light were gone, revealing just a line moving uninterrupted back and forth over the spirit person. Is it cleaning? Resetting energy? I don't know, he wouldn't answer me. He kind of clacked his teeth together when I asked, and of course it always looks like he's smiling so I got nowhere with that.

"Then what?" I asked.

He showed me that the sleeping spirit VERY SLOWLY begins to emerge from this deep kind of sleep, and the pace at which the spirit person awakens has everything to do with their capacity to adjust to their new place and the information about the change in themselves.

He shut me down after that, and my meditation was suddenly over. You know that feeling when you're meditating (or doing anything -- jeez, even having a relationship) and suddenly you just say to yourself, "Okay, I'm done." That was that.

But that night I had my regular Thursday evening Message Circle, and about 4PM I was sitting on my couch reading when I began to yawn uncontrollably. This has been -- though not for a while -- a strong signal from a spirit person or guide that I'm wanted for some important communication. I kept yawning. Well, I WAS tired, I thought to myself. I do have this 6 month old puppy. But it persisted (classic sign of something to pay attention to), so I put down my book, got into a comfortable meditation posture and said, "Okay, what?"

Nothing happened.

I thought I saw the Gentleman for a moment but then there was nothing. Okay, so I was tired after all.

In time I went started my Circle, and in response to my intention and general unspoken question to the spirit people, I got an answer to "what do you do?" Well, sort of.

One physical guest's mother came through first, we identified her, and she continued to hang around, interjecting between every other spirit person. Finally at the end of our Circle she came through with her message, which she conveyed through the tale of St. Christopher.

For those of you who don't know, the story of St. Christopher begins when a traveler approaches a fast-moving river. He notices a small child on the bank who asks to be carried across. The traveler (Christopher) agrees and puts the child on his shoulders. As he fords the river, the baby gets heavier and heavier until Christopher is leaning heavily on his staff and staggering through the dangerous water, risking his own life. When he finally reaches the other side, he puts the child down and says, essentially, "What the f***!?"

The child says he is Jesus and he is so heavy because he carries the weight of all the sin in the world. And Christopher is canonized (Patron Saint of Travelers) and then de-canonized some decades later.

So Angelina the spirit mother tells this story, and remarks that she herself carried a terrible sin, or so she thought. She hid this sin and judged herself very harshly all through her life. When she finally went out, she learned that what she had carried had no weight where she was now, and that it was her OWN judgment, not God's, that made that burden so heavy. All that wasted energy! She told us to drop our hard self-judgments, to forgive ourselves.

She has taken on some sort of teaching or even preaching kind of work where she is, she told us, to get the word out to physical people to believe that God will never judge them as harshly as they judge themselves.

Later that night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned all night, and when I did drift into short periods of sleep I was entangled in very disturbing dreams and energies that I can't remember. At one point the Gentleman showed up, and I asked him to help me sleep. He stood behind me and put his hands on either side of my face. Then he moved to my feet, and finally put a hand on a rib on my right side, and -- finally -- sleep.

In the morning I felt like I'd gotten not only a jolt of his healing energy, but a way to lay my hands on my clients. In my meditations since then I haven't gotten more clarity, but my people are always telling me I must practice more patience.